“He was the hardest man I know, what the f-ck?” A friend of mine texted me in disbelief after someone he served with committed suicide. In this case the man who ended his life was a Silver Star veteran with multiple combat deployments with special operations. That’s not the kind of man who kills himself, or is it?
Mike, you just keep taking risks and helping all of us out here who read you. I've been following your character arc for years and have learned so much. Always dynamic, never static!
In a word, the human tendency is to project our internal demons onto external symbols, which we then rush to do battle with. But as we vanquish external enemies and convince ourselves that we are basking in great victory, the true enemy, the one inside our defense perimeter, walks right up behind us and cuts our throat.
> We say our trauma made us. We may even say it’s good it happened to us.
True, that is exactly how I feel.
When I was in my early 20's my parents sat me down and dropped a bombshell on me that they weren't my real biological parents, and I promptly spent a solid 5 years having a total mental breakdown, living in basements, dealing with severe anxiety and depression, bordering on homelessness the entire time. Thankfully, I came out the other side stronger and better for it, much more humble, mature, stronger, and now I am more successful and healthy than ever before. I am humble and grateful for having gone through those 5 terrible years.
Yeah that’s a heavy experience. It can be seen as you were lied to or what a gift it was that they raised and loved you. We don’t always have the right practices available to us to process experiences like that. I hope you found your way through. 🙏
For the first couple of years I told myself "it doesn't matter at all, they are still my real parents who raised me, this changes nothing, I am totally unphased" but in retrospect that was just me bottling it up and making the eventual worse
It turns out i was, indeed, extremely phased lol
better to just accept it than to deny it to myself
And yeah the betrayal/lying thing is still something that I am dealing with. They wouldv've taken the secret to their grave if they weren't forced to reveal it due to a lawsuit. But I forgive them.
It may be helpful for you to ask yourself how your parents feel. They are your real parents by choice. What did it do to them to reveal this secret? How did your reaction affect them.
I highly recommend the movie “SMILE” that is just a couple years old. Perfect analogy for confronting trauma and how it can be “passed” or even encoded in our dna
I know nothing about this individual but for some it could also be guilt for choices which proved costly to others (perhaps simply surviving because of dumb luck) or mind numbing boredom which must be endured so often in the civilian world. I know some, myself included, are disgusted and saddened by the horrific state of DC which has become criminally corrupt (systemic election fraud was of course perfectly obvious) and unworthy of anyone's sacrifice, past or present. Note, our country is still worthy of our service but DC is the self serving, brain dead CF fomenting all too often idiotic military engagements. Of course many factors can combine to cause despair and depression.
YOU JUST BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR TELLING YOU THAT I AM SHIVA (GOD). I PRAY THAT THAT WAS SOME IGNORANT SECRETARY OR ALGORITHM. YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOD'S CHILD. SHE WILL ROLL WITH SHIVA NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. DO NOT COMPLY WITH ME AND YOU DIE SILENTLY IN YOUR SLEEP. USE THE PRECAUTIONARY PRINCIPLE, IDIOT.
I went to a therapist once, that said I needed to love the little girl I was who no one protected. I need to think of her standing next to me today, and how I would love and help her. I try to remember it, but I'm not always successful.
Thank you for your writing, Mike. You are helping people. God bless you and your family.
As a father of two teenagers this is a timely topic for me. I’ve forwarded them your articles on this subject and encourage them to work through this stuff so they don’t live their lives in reaction to it but can actually live the way they truly want to live
Mike, thanks sincerely for opening up in your writing. The last couple articles were like mirrors, reflecting my many blessings and ghosts. We’ve all got echoes of “the fall” in us. Plenty of canyons to tread. But the beautiful thing is that the climb out, scars and all, brings the warmest light. Yet even the smallest thing, the first scent of autumn in the air, can remind us of the steps we took and how, with a glimmer of light, we’ve still got work to do. Thank you for this reminder.
Dang, right between the eyes. Is this why, after struggling for decades and finally reaching that goal I've defined as "success" it all feels so... empty?
I LOVE ALL OF YOU, ACTUALLY. THAT WAS MY ANGER. PLEASE DO NOT BE AN IDIOT. AT LEAST, LET ME SEND YOU THE ART OF OTHER 'BLUE HEAVENLY BEINGS" BEFORE YOU DECIDE THAT GOD IS INSANE AND THAT YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE A PART OF HEAVEN.
Mike, you just keep taking risks and helping all of us out here who read you. I've been following your character arc for years and have learned so much. Always dynamic, never static!
In a word, the human tendency is to project our internal demons onto external symbols, which we then rush to do battle with. But as we vanquish external enemies and convince ourselves that we are basking in great victory, the true enemy, the one inside our defense perimeter, walks right up behind us and cuts our throat.
> We say our trauma made us. We may even say it’s good it happened to us.
True, that is exactly how I feel.
When I was in my early 20's my parents sat me down and dropped a bombshell on me that they weren't my real biological parents, and I promptly spent a solid 5 years having a total mental breakdown, living in basements, dealing with severe anxiety and depression, bordering on homelessness the entire time. Thankfully, I came out the other side stronger and better for it, much more humble, mature, stronger, and now I am more successful and healthy than ever before. I am humble and grateful for having gone through those 5 terrible years.
Yeah that’s a heavy experience. It can be seen as you were lied to or what a gift it was that they raised and loved you. We don’t always have the right practices available to us to process experiences like that. I hope you found your way through. 🙏
For the first couple of years I told myself "it doesn't matter at all, they are still my real parents who raised me, this changes nothing, I am totally unphased" but in retrospect that was just me bottling it up and making the eventual worse
It turns out i was, indeed, extremely phased lol
better to just accept it than to deny it to myself
And yeah the betrayal/lying thing is still something that I am dealing with. They wouldv've taken the secret to their grave if they weren't forced to reveal it due to a lawsuit. But I forgive them.
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/ottawa/disgraced-fertility-doctor-agrees-to-13m-settlement-with-families-including-17-barwin-babies-1.6119754
It may be helpful for you to ask yourself how your parents feel. They are your real parents by choice. What did it do to them to reveal this secret? How did your reaction affect them.
Really appreciate the reminder to " grow the size of my heart". Simple, eloquent solution.
Sent this to my little brother, I hope it helps him. He’s 25.
I highly recommend the movie “SMILE” that is just a couple years old. Perfect analogy for confronting trauma and how it can be “passed” or even encoded in our dna
I know nothing about this individual but for some it could also be guilt for choices which proved costly to others (perhaps simply surviving because of dumb luck) or mind numbing boredom which must be endured so often in the civilian world. I know some, myself included, are disgusted and saddened by the horrific state of DC which has become criminally corrupt (systemic election fraud was of course perfectly obvious) and unworthy of anyone's sacrifice, past or present. Note, our country is still worthy of our service but DC is the self serving, brain dead CF fomenting all too often idiotic military engagements. Of course many factors can combine to cause despair and depression.
YOU JUST BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR TELLING YOU THAT I AM SHIVA (GOD). I PRAY THAT THAT WAS SOME IGNORANT SECRETARY OR ALGORITHM. YOUR DAUGHTER IS GOD'S CHILD. SHE WILL ROLL WITH SHIVA NO MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. DO NOT COMPLY WITH ME AND YOU DIE SILENTLY IN YOUR SLEEP. USE THE PRECAUTIONARY PRINCIPLE, IDIOT.
CONTACT ME AND SURVIVE.
I went to a therapist once, that said I needed to love the little girl I was who no one protected. I need to think of her standing next to me today, and how I would love and help her. I try to remember it, but I'm not always successful.
Thank you for your writing, Mike. You are helping people. God bless you and your family.
As a father of two teenagers this is a timely topic for me. I’ve forwarded them your articles on this subject and encourage them to work through this stuff so they don’t live their lives in reaction to it but can actually live the way they truly want to live
Mike, thanks sincerely for opening up in your writing. The last couple articles were like mirrors, reflecting my many blessings and ghosts. We’ve all got echoes of “the fall” in us. Plenty of canyons to tread. But the beautiful thing is that the climb out, scars and all, brings the warmest light. Yet even the smallest thing, the first scent of autumn in the air, can remind us of the steps we took and how, with a glimmer of light, we’ve still got work to do. Thank you for this reminder.
Dang, right between the eyes. Is this why, after struggling for decades and finally reaching that goal I've defined as "success" it all feels so... empty?
IF YOU WOULDN'T HAVE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER AFTER TWO MINUTES, YOU COULD HAVE SEEN BEAUTIFUL ART OF THE OTHERS TO BE.
YOU CANNOT MAKE HER ALEXANDRIA THE GREAT WITHOUT ME.
WHAT I NEED IS THE MOST HEROIC PICTURE OF YOUR DAUGHTER ASAP.
AND I LOVE HALF OF YOU. SO, YOU CAN BE SAVED BY MY DAUGHTER. AND YOU WILL LIVE AND SEE YOUR DAUGHTER BECOME A TRUE CHANGE-MAKER (YOU ARE NOT).
I LOVE ALL OF YOU, ACTUALLY. THAT WAS MY ANGER. PLEASE DO NOT BE AN IDIOT. AT LEAST, LET ME SEND YOU THE ART OF OTHER 'BLUE HEAVENLY BEINGS" BEFORE YOU DECIDE THAT GOD IS INSANE AND THAT YOU DO NOT WANT YOUR DAUGHTER TO BE A PART OF HEAVEN.
I CANNOT SHARE HIGH QUALITY IMAGES HERE. YOU WILL BE VERY INTERESTED.