The strongest men in the world are committing suicide. These are better men than me, you, and all the manly men who claim “Real men don’t cry.” What is going on and how did this happen?
Going to Confession after 30 years away from the Church was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done and it took me months to work up the courage to do it, kneel down and speak to a priest behind a screen. I cannot explain how much better I feel having done so.
Dude . . . You fucking nailed it. Just like the whole Madonna/whore paradox for men, every woman wants a Renaissance man who is sensitive and emotional and will talk about feelings. Until they get it. Then everything he shares will be questioned, put down, or minimized. And I agree that much of it happens on a subconscious level. And I believe it's because what women fear most, primordially, is that their "vulnerable" men won't take a bullet for them in a bad spot. Their whore is a Neanderthal man.
The good men killing themselves is a national tragedy, and it makes me sick.
We had a string of suicides in our immediate family over the last 12 years. As I reflect, some of these instances were men coming to grips with what their world had become, and maybe a sense of shame they had revealed too much weakness or that other people knew about trauma or decisions they made. I have four boys under 9 so now it’s something I need to be mindful of in teaching them good expectations of life happiness etc.
I also stared down a gun during a delivery gone wrong in the city. Three teens who were maybe to afraid to follow through or were using it was leverage to get my wallet and keys. After college I doubled down on myself instead of identifying that I had trauma, I went on to teach in the city for 10 years; 5 were at the HS right across the street from the high rise where I was mugged. Every year maybe hardened my shell about the incident but certain things would bring out a lot of associated anxiety. Seeing a lot of Antifa and BLM riot violence made 2020 the hardest year mentally since the actual robbery. Gotta let that trauma go for my own kids so they can keep a calm head when the world goes insane. Not comparing myself to soldiers or vets in that respect but maybe they either see things that are triggers or perhaps the hypothetical world they fought for in battle isn’t living up to the world they are living it in real time. It’s a horrible shame that so many vets have that outcome and I appreciate you sharing the donations you put toward that cause.
i know you’re right. when i was younger i used to be repulsed by a man crying (my sicilian father instilled that in me). but as i’ve gotten older i feel differently about it. Jesus wept. men are emotional human beings and it’s very sad that they feel like they can’t be. when i see my sons holding back tears i encourage them to let it out.
Love your tweets and the long form is just as good :o
Hadn't heard the poison quote--great stuff, and reminds me of a Mark Twain quote that sticks with me: "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Original sin and self-justification are the roots of the problem. Secular people (and unfaithful "Christians,") need a savior too, but because they don't know Jesus they try to justify themselves. Rather than accepting their true identity as a child of God, they choose to build their own. They think that at some point they'll quench that burning emptiness or hurt inside them by becoming someone other than what God made them. Can't be done. In becoming their own god, they do exactly opposite of what God commands us - to deny ourselves and love others (in the true sense of the word, not the modern woke sense) - and set themselves and their kids up for even more suffering in the future. The only way to break the chain is by accepting Jesus Christ as their savior. Yet, like most idol worshipers, they'll continue to deny God's grace at their own peril.
We also have visual proof: the sacraments/means of grace. Jesus took away our sins on the cross. He distributes the forgiveness of sins through the means of grace.
In the true body (bread) and blood (wine) of Jesus are distributed for the forgiveness of sins.
In the waters of baptism sin is washed away.
In confession and absolution, where God speaks through a properly called servant.
We go to church and receive these gifts of forgiveness and faith each week because they are physical and objective and material proof that our sins are forgiven.
Faith is a gift from God. Faith requires a promise in which to believe. Without Gods promises we have nothing to have faith in.
The means is grace are one of the key reasons God commands us to go to church (ie keep the sabbath day holy).
One of your presuppositions seems to be that God promises less suffering, which isn’t true. God says that all will suffer on earth because of original sin, and that Christians will suffer more because the devil specifically attacks us-e.g. martyrdom. But we are supposed to rejoice in suffering, because our faith is strengthened during it. In secular talk, no pain no gain.
Repentance and faith require humility. You must accept that you aren’t in control of most things. That you don’t need to know every answer (there’s no end to worldly opinion and conjecture). God knows what’s good for you better than you know what’s good for you. God defines good and evil and he distributes them according to his plan. Anger with God shows a lack of humility and contrition.
God doesn’t promise all will believe. Some will sadly continue to doubt his grace and will not be saved.
God made humans to fear, love, and trust. We will either fear, love, and trust him - the true source of our identity and justification. But many will choose some other perverted thing to hang our hat on. Just the way it is. Without the choice to reject God we’d have no free will.
As a practical matter/recommendation, go to church if you aren’t already. Find a conservative/Orthodox Church (confessional Lutheran, EO or RC,) and become a catechumen. Spend 1 year there. Make it a point to go every Sunday. Your life will get better. You’ll feel lost and uncomfortable at first - that’s normal. But keep going. Your eternal salvation is at stake.
Reminds me there are other intense ways men might choose to reexperience trauma, but everyone has a bit rate or bandwidth. It's not unmanly to acknowledge one has finite limits.
You are right there are different kinds of courage.
I would suggest another thesis: No man is brave across all domains. And as Jung held, each man must find his salvation through strengthening his weakest archetype of the four (king, warrior, magician, lover) -- though this may be a bit pat.
This problem of sex abuse and the lifelong dislocation it causes -- this must be discussed more often. Men can feel like strangers around children. Women too, perhaps.
What I notice is a lot of men simply go numb, yet continue to perform stoically day in, day out. They are heroic in a way, tragic in another.
The cards are all stacked against them due to radical feminist and democrat liberal policy makers like Joe Biden. Their unfaithful wives and partners set them up for domestic violence charges and take them for everything they've worked their entire lives for. These vets don't stand a chance if they involve women and kids in their lives, it's all rigged for Title IV-D kickbacks and civil forfeitures by the lawyer scum and usurpers in black robes.
Going to Confession after 30 years away from the Church was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done and it took me months to work up the courage to do it, kneel down and speak to a priest behind a screen. I cannot explain how much better I feel having done so.
Suicide is not weakness.
Suicide is not quitting.
Suicide is not shameful.
Suicide needs to be researched.
My 22 yr old son Conner was a
Wrestler
Debate Captain
Football player
AP Scholar
Kind
Hug your loved ones every day. Tell them you love them every day.
Dude . . . You fucking nailed it. Just like the whole Madonna/whore paradox for men, every woman wants a Renaissance man who is sensitive and emotional and will talk about feelings. Until they get it. Then everything he shares will be questioned, put down, or minimized. And I agree that much of it happens on a subconscious level. And I believe it's because what women fear most, primordially, is that their "vulnerable" men won't take a bullet for them in a bad spot. Their whore is a Neanderthal man.
The good men killing themselves is a national tragedy, and it makes me sick.
We had a string of suicides in our immediate family over the last 12 years. As I reflect, some of these instances were men coming to grips with what their world had become, and maybe a sense of shame they had revealed too much weakness or that other people knew about trauma or decisions they made. I have four boys under 9 so now it’s something I need to be mindful of in teaching them good expectations of life happiness etc.
I also stared down a gun during a delivery gone wrong in the city. Three teens who were maybe to afraid to follow through or were using it was leverage to get my wallet and keys. After college I doubled down on myself instead of identifying that I had trauma, I went on to teach in the city for 10 years; 5 were at the HS right across the street from the high rise where I was mugged. Every year maybe hardened my shell about the incident but certain things would bring out a lot of associated anxiety. Seeing a lot of Antifa and BLM riot violence made 2020 the hardest year mentally since the actual robbery. Gotta let that trauma go for my own kids so they can keep a calm head when the world goes insane. Not comparing myself to soldiers or vets in that respect but maybe they either see things that are triggers or perhaps the hypothetical world they fought for in battle isn’t living up to the world they are living it in real time. It’s a horrible shame that so many vets have that outcome and I appreciate you sharing the donations you put toward that cause.
i know you’re right. when i was younger i used to be repulsed by a man crying (my sicilian father instilled that in me). but as i’ve gotten older i feel differently about it. Jesus wept. men are emotional human beings and it’s very sad that they feel like they can’t be. when i see my sons holding back tears i encourage them to let it out.
Fear and Courage are not opposites.
Fear is an emotion. Courage is a decision.
Think about this.
Love your tweets and the long form is just as good :o
Hadn't heard the poison quote--great stuff, and reminds me of a Mark Twain quote that sticks with me: "Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than to anything on which it is poured."
Original sin and self-justification are the roots of the problem. Secular people (and unfaithful "Christians,") need a savior too, but because they don't know Jesus they try to justify themselves. Rather than accepting their true identity as a child of God, they choose to build their own. They think that at some point they'll quench that burning emptiness or hurt inside them by becoming someone other than what God made them. Can't be done. In becoming their own god, they do exactly opposite of what God commands us - to deny ourselves and love others (in the true sense of the word, not the modern woke sense) - and set themselves and their kids up for even more suffering in the future. The only way to break the chain is by accepting Jesus Christ as their savior. Yet, like most idol worshipers, they'll continue to deny God's grace at their own peril.
We also have visual proof: the sacraments/means of grace. Jesus took away our sins on the cross. He distributes the forgiveness of sins through the means of grace.
In the true body (bread) and blood (wine) of Jesus are distributed for the forgiveness of sins.
In the waters of baptism sin is washed away.
In confession and absolution, where God speaks through a properly called servant.
We go to church and receive these gifts of forgiveness and faith each week because they are physical and objective and material proof that our sins are forgiven.
Faith is a gift from God. Faith requires a promise in which to believe. Without Gods promises we have nothing to have faith in.
The means is grace are one of the key reasons God commands us to go to church (ie keep the sabbath day holy).
One of your presuppositions seems to be that God promises less suffering, which isn’t true. God says that all will suffer on earth because of original sin, and that Christians will suffer more because the devil specifically attacks us-e.g. martyrdom. But we are supposed to rejoice in suffering, because our faith is strengthened during it. In secular talk, no pain no gain.
Repentance and faith require humility. You must accept that you aren’t in control of most things. That you don’t need to know every answer (there’s no end to worldly opinion and conjecture). God knows what’s good for you better than you know what’s good for you. God defines good and evil and he distributes them according to his plan. Anger with God shows a lack of humility and contrition.
God doesn’t promise all will believe. Some will sadly continue to doubt his grace and will not be saved.
God made humans to fear, love, and trust. We will either fear, love, and trust him - the true source of our identity and justification. But many will choose some other perverted thing to hang our hat on. Just the way it is. Without the choice to reject God we’d have no free will.
As a practical matter/recommendation, go to church if you aren’t already. Find a conservative/Orthodox Church (confessional Lutheran, EO or RC,) and become a catechumen. Spend 1 year there. Make it a point to go every Sunday. Your life will get better. You’ll feel lost and uncomfortable at first - that’s normal. But keep going. Your eternal salvation is at stake.
Fine work here, Mike.
Reminds me there are other intense ways men might choose to reexperience trauma, but everyone has a bit rate or bandwidth. It's not unmanly to acknowledge one has finite limits.
You are right there are different kinds of courage.
I would suggest another thesis: No man is brave across all domains. And as Jung held, each man must find his salvation through strengthening his weakest archetype of the four (king, warrior, magician, lover) -- though this may be a bit pat.
This problem of sex abuse and the lifelong dislocation it causes -- this must be discussed more often. Men can feel like strangers around children. Women too, perhaps.
What I notice is a lot of men simply go numb, yet continue to perform stoically day in, day out. They are heroic in a way, tragic in another.
The cards are all stacked against them due to radical feminist and democrat liberal policy makers like Joe Biden. Their unfaithful wives and partners set them up for domestic violence charges and take them for everything they've worked their entire lives for. These vets don't stand a chance if they involve women and kids in their lives, it's all rigged for Title IV-D kickbacks and civil forfeitures by the lawyer scum and usurpers in black robes.
An important and powerful piece
Loved this Mike. Here's another one I read long ago:
http://scripting.com/davenet/1998/01/01/menStaySilent.html
This is beautiful
How to deal
https://open.substack.com/pub/scottcampbell/p/on-manners-and-management?utm_source=direct&r=1eopzd&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web