"Why would these insults work?" This was a powerful point made. It seems tolerance is coming up everywhere. From rhetoric on the left to sermons at church. This is an important distinction on how tolerate insults from kids, but not from adults. I feel, and I hope I can be corrected if wrong, if we tolerate insults from adults we are tolerating our own lack of respect, self-worth, or principles.
I was a nanny in college (yes a manny) for about 18 months and hit every emotional & trauma wall leftover from my upbringing. I watched myself turn into a version of my helpless parents when the kids would do normal kid things and it freaked me the hell out. I repeated what I understood, and I didn't like what I knew.
That experience propelled me to starting the journey into real adulthood, or what Cernovich calls ending the trauma cycles. This article is one million percent true (and helpful). Thank you for writing it.
"Between Parent and Child", by Hiam Ginott is an eye opener book. It's the Bible for raising children. (Not that my opinion matters to any of you lol) The big takeaway is demonstrating EMPATHY toward children. Perhaps there'd be less screwed up people in the world if they grew up with Empathetic parents instead of Boomer parents telling them to shut up, mind your business, take your pills to make the hurt go away. Also, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" great book, from a Ginott student.
Kids definitely respond to your vibe. Being mindful of this, and mindful of them as real separate persons, also enables you to distinguish important subtle things about their vibes. I can usually tell when my daughter deeply feels and needs something vs just being crabby or whiny. Its made me change course constructively more than once . . .forr example I was intent on giving away their old clothes a few years ago but she was so sincerely hurt by that prospect that I gently changed my mind and said she could keep them as long as they were kept put of the way. She continued to hang onto certain clothes for a couple years. These days she doesnt seem to care abput it at all. . .and our relationship is as best as its ever been and still improving.
"Why would these insults work?" This was a powerful point made. It seems tolerance is coming up everywhere. From rhetoric on the left to sermons at church. This is an important distinction on how tolerate insults from kids, but not from adults. I feel, and I hope I can be corrected if wrong, if we tolerate insults from adults we are tolerating our own lack of respect, self-worth, or principles.
Wow! What a surprise to find you writing about moving around, chasing kids and zone 2
training. VC dudeman! Very Cool. I came across Dr. Phil Maffetone's aerobic training info
years ago. (You may have misspelled his name). Or is there another trainer for distance
runners, called Mafferton? I ain't lookin and I don't care. The Dr. Phil I'm talking about is
the real deal. I gobbled up two early Dr. Phil books, In Fitness and In Health and Endurance
Training. I explored low stress aerobic training. I bought a heart rate monitor. It was a big
life change for me. It was the death of 'No pain, no gain' in running. I had more stamina,
though it took a while. My hands were no longer cold in the morning hours. There are
many more benefits. Thanks for your substack, I appreciate your writing. Keep going,
you are on track.
I was a nanny in college (yes a manny) for about 18 months and hit every emotional & trauma wall leftover from my upbringing. I watched myself turn into a version of my helpless parents when the kids would do normal kid things and it freaked me the hell out. I repeated what I understood, and I didn't like what I knew.
That experience propelled me to starting the journey into real adulthood, or what Cernovich calls ending the trauma cycles. This article is one million percent true (and helpful). Thank you for writing it.
"Between Parent and Child", by Hiam Ginott is an eye opener book. It's the Bible for raising children. (Not that my opinion matters to any of you lol) The big takeaway is demonstrating EMPATHY toward children. Perhaps there'd be less screwed up people in the world if they grew up with Empathetic parents instead of Boomer parents telling them to shut up, mind your business, take your pills to make the hurt go away. Also, "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen" great book, from a Ginott student.
Kids definitely respond to your vibe. Being mindful of this, and mindful of them as real separate persons, also enables you to distinguish important subtle things about their vibes. I can usually tell when my daughter deeply feels and needs something vs just being crabby or whiny. Its made me change course constructively more than once . . .forr example I was intent on giving away their old clothes a few years ago but she was so sincerely hurt by that prospect that I gently changed my mind and said she could keep them as long as they were kept put of the way. She continued to hang onto certain clothes for a couple years. These days she doesnt seem to care abput it at all. . .and our relationship is as best as its ever been and still improving.